Hi, I’m Lani.
I’m so happy that you’re here! Most likely we have never met in person, so perhaps you’d like to figure out who I am. I’m an entrepreneur and I wear a lens that see people for all their potential.
And I’m actually not what you might expect. Even though I work with people on their image and confidence, deep down I’m a true-blue introvert.
I started out painfully shy. I was that girl who had a whole dialogue going on in her head, and had to agonize over if and when I might interject my thoughts. Usually, by the time I had worked up the courage, my timing was off, so I just lost my opportunity. I had a whole slew of amazingly witty, polished comebacks that never got used. As you may imagine this led to many years of frustration, and self-esteem issues.
My fresh-off-the-boat Asian mother was officially a Tiger Mom, way before it was cool. Like many Asian mothers, she was also an amateur seamstress and made most of my wardrobe, which also wasn’t cool at the time. In 7th grade I started babysitting and earning my own money—and I started buying my own clothes. Before, I was wearing off-brand jeans and drugstore sneakers, with a hand-sewn cowl-neck blouse made out of silky, off-white nylon. But after I saved up enough money to go shopping, I re-emerged in cool jeans, a trendy t-shirt and shiny new red and white Nike sneakers. All of a sudden I felt like I fit in with the other kids. It’s funny how simple changes can make such a huge difference.
One thing about being shy though; it just doesn’t go away with one good experience. I had to figure out how to work through my natural-born inhibitions.
I know how hard it is to want to talk to strangers when you’re an introvert. Engaging with a stranger was an angst-inspiring scenario fraught with self-doubt. One of my biggest fears was having to talk to extroverts and worrying that they might make fun of me. I’d freeze and wouldn’t know what to say to defend myself. This caused me to avoid loud, boisterous, and seemingly confident people. I ended up watching people from the corner and trying to avoid being noticed, for fear that I might be targeted. But this doesn’t work in the game of life.
Of course I didn’t have the tools to work through this on my own. I was forced to work through it when I got my first retail job; an introvert’s worst nightmare. I then had to speak to people—all kinds of people. I discovered that if I asked them questions about themselves, I wouldn’t have to do much of the talking. Score! And I found out that I love people. Bonus!
Just put it out there
I’ve lived in four different states in the last ten years and I have learned that most people are kind and generous. I also learned that the key to getting to know strangers and making new friends is being genuine, authentic and being an impeccable listener. This has opened countless doors for me in business as well as in developing life-long relationships wherever my travels take me.
- I do not have a college degree. I am officially a college dropout
- I like to throw out random facts about me like a filtering device. If you like me, I guess you have to like me for who I really am
- I’m a certified Cougar. My husband is many years my junior
- I’m a dork by nature. I have a childish sense of humor and I often laugh at myself like I’m the funniest person I know
- I’m generally naïve and I like it that way most of the time because I like to see people for what’s best about them
- My Chinese Zodiac sign is Dragon
My value system
- Being authentic—if you can’t be authentic, then you can’t be in my tribe because you won’t understand my thinking
- Putting family first—I work hard and love my business, but I’d give up my work in a second for my family
- Being a lifetime learner—I will always continue to learn how to be a better person, mentor and contributor to my community
- Saying yes—I’m not saying that I’m a doormat, always saying ‘yes’ to projects people ask me to do, but I am notorious for saying yes to opportunities that stretch my comfort zone and then wondering what the heck I just committed to. In the end, I’m always thankful for the sometimes painful growth experience because it makes me who I am today
Here and now
I now have a company called BackStage. It is a metaphor for me working backstage for YOUR show. I have programs that propel your confidence from the inside out. I teach clients how to be clear and genuine with their self message, working on their inner game and even coach them on the powerful words to speak so they can attract exactly what they want. I can also transform them on the outside with an image makeover, creating their signature look and brand, which makes their outside match with their confident and savvy self!
Today everything I do, from private one-to-one coaching to online and group distance programs is all about helping people like you get REAL results so you can step into your potential that you’ve seen. Your transformation will be a catalyst to you taking that next step toward achieving your goal.
I want to thank you for stopping by. YOU are my business and my focus is helping to fill in those gaps and catapult your confidence so you can finally take yourself to that next level.
Do you want to find out more about what it’s like to work with me?
If any of this resonates with you and you’re curious about what I can see as your blind spots, please contact me at Lani@backstagewithlani.com and request a “Self Discovery” questionnaire. If you qualify with the right mindset, you may receive a complimentary Confidence Discovery Session with me!